In this moment, I am Chicken Little

May 19, 2020

A book! A book! A book is coming! … exclaimed Chicken Little as she ran and ran and ran.

 

In this moment, I am Chicken Little.

 

A new path of curiosity struck me when a beloved mentor held up the book titled, The Art of Possibility by Rosamund Stone Zander.  I felt a connection to the phrase The Art of … because I too, am on a quest to explore, outline and perhaps define the world and The Art of Gardening.. It's honestly for myself and my want to offer another modality into the world that has a conscious understanding of Mother Nature and our human connection to it.

 

The words The Art of elicit magic for me.  And with that I am running.  The words flow to me and through me, like how Elizabeth Gilbert explains it in Big Magic.  Now I am committed to harnessing and release them, one inspiration after another. One modality after another.

 

For this I ask you to hold this dream with me.

 

Until recently I didn’t know I could be an author.

 

This concept will be a book someday, The Art of Gardening… through the eyes of me, Christin. 

  

My intensions are to help expand [my] consciousness and the awareness of our own inner power through The Art of Gardening.  The book feels like a collection of experiences and Nature-based metaphors artistically woven together with colorful pictures and sung to the tune of sacred garden practices. And I guess, in that context, it could even be a Memoir.

   

I have been researching a variety of content from thought leaders around the world, old and new, because of this beautifully innocent fascination I have with life and wanting to understand my own habits, thoughts and realities.  I want to expand my world. I want to play a Bigger Game.  I want more fun.  I want to birth my daughter into a world of abundance and possibility and experience that magic with her, not at her.  

 

I want, I want, I want. Rocket, rocket, ROCKET. 

 

This has been a lifetime of learning, experiencing, unfolding and dissecting the layers of this emotional onion that I call Self, but its been the most perfect one.  Still, the word and world of emotional intelligence and awareness, for that matter, is a little esoteric but there in-lies the Magic. 

 

As my morning continued to unfold, one inspiring action after another lead me to a Podcast from Russel Brand, and I cannot explain the synchronicity but it’s so fun!  It played in the background of this morning’s rituals to the tune of compassion, trauma, addiction, and ultimately spirituality- the human condition of it all.  The premise- we are all the same.  We are all affected by our childhood experiences and all have trauma, but some are more extreme than others.  But we all have trauma. It’s how we chose to deal with it that varies, that classifies, that shames.  But it also unites, connects and creates.   These experiences frame our personal belief systems and thus our behaviors and futures.  Secondly, framing that addiction isn’t about the What you use and How you use it but WHY you use it. From food to drugs, shopping to social media. Fascinatingly enough, I relate. 

I can relate to the compulsion to fill the void of connection and wholeness with peace, source, God, Self when I feel pain.  I want to fix it.  It’s the purest form of self-love there is. Compassion.

Perhaps this explains my love and commitment to The Art of Gardening the best so far.

I could relate for days.  The inner peace and fulfillment you can attain from this external vice are caused by a triggered emotion of pain that we consciously or subconsciously need to numb or satisfy, even for a fleeting moment, to feel whole. To feel peace.

I cried.  I cry now. I’m happy. I’m relieved. This connects another dot and releases more shame, or guilt or whatever other awkward belief I have agreed to along the way.

I am closer to understanding how much we, as a human species, are more alike than different.  We really are One. One mass consciousness divided and controlled by emotional ignorance and neglect of Self. 

We really are equally capable of attaining the same outcomes, good, bad or ugly, magical or tragic.  We are all creative beings, eternal beings, having a human experience and we are all meant to discover our authentic selves through these experiences, not be defined by them.  

   

Since a girl, I loved to swing. I loved being outside in the shade of the summer sun and warm breeze. There was a sense of wholeness, peace and wonder that liberated me from whatever reality framed my day.  I was always curious about my body in the sense that my mind never felt connected to it. I was especially strong when I would watch friends’ abilities to run faster, kick harder or just play wholeheartedly within their own skin or state of being. Me, I watched.  Enchanted. Captivated by their vitality and presence.  I never felt “left out” but I often felt invisible or maybe even external. Now, they are just defining moments.

This overall awareness that I seem to embody, from a visceral and mostly unconscious state of being, combined with the sensitive and creative nature I am, has lead me on this journey of discovering life and presence in a very independent way.

My connection with self, source, God, Nature is stronger than ever. My nature or Mother Nature, anymore, are one in the same.  Learning how to embody has something I’m playing with and need to practice with surrender and abandon.

I feel a bit like Alice in Wonderland and I want to share the Magic, the discovery, and the innocence.

 

 

 

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